It's funny how I've been blogging for quite a while and people who reads my blog do actually KNOW me and here I am, choosing to be anonymous. All for the reason that I feel comfy, in my own world. Life is... not as bad at the moment. I'm still coping. It's been 5 months. And I thought I was over you. He left out of sudden, at the time when I was so ecstatic knowing that I'll see him again. Ell, it still hurts. But right now, I don't think I'll ever see him again. He's at the other side of the world. And it's really true that distance does matters. When I lie on my bed at night, I still think of you, and there isn't one day that passed by without me hoping..hoping that someday, I'll see you again. Someday. One day. To hold you in my arms one more time, and to let you know that nothing else mattered anymore.

:: Once this last sun has risen ::

If there was only one more night
And this heart would not beat again
Once this last sun has risen...
I would run to your arms
into your warmth
Know this joy one last time

If there were to be no more tears
And pain forever erased in one moment
Once this last sun has risen...
I would hold your face in my hands
And tell you of my love
Know the pleasure of your heart one more time

If there was only one last chance
For you to hear what should be said
Once this last sun has risen...
I would risk everything
To tell you these simple words
"I love you" then close my eyes

If there were only these few hours
Till this life was forever ended
I would take you in my arms
Feel your heart against my chest
Slip away content in this joy

- Excerpted from: Mark Garreffa

Hey Ell, my pride holds me back from telling you those exact same words. I guess it's too late when I realized that. It hits me that I might not be able to see you again. I was determine to make it happen, to see you one more time but at the moment, it just seems so impossible and unreachable. Then I thought, you don't seem to care so why do I even want to bother? It is simple..Because I can't lie to myself. Because when you were around, I was myself, a me at my happiest moments. I'm still hoping...