I've been very confused this couple of days. There are so many things that I'm still trying to work out yet it just confuses me even more. Anyway, the problem that has been taking majority of my brain space is S.

So I'm gonna go over to S place to watch a movie this weekend but knowing him, and knowing myself, it is an unspoken term of 'let's make out'.

What really bothers me is the fact that I'm not ready.

Personally, I think it's bullshit whenever someone says she is not ready to have sex but I'm just not ready. I want to but I'm feeling guilty, hence I'm not ready. Despite the fact that I'm a selfish two-timing bitch, I can never get around sleeping with people or having occassional one-night stands. Sex without commitment sounds good but I'm just not that sort of person. What's more, I do like this guy, I even told W that I do like S. I do wanna go over and watch the movie he recommended. Also, I miss hugging and kissing him. I really don't know if we can just keep it to that level.

J jokingly suggested that I turn lesbian and I told him it will be waste for man-kind if I do. I know I can be that egoistic at times but aren't we all like that at some point?