I've got friends who told me that this guy is not worth it but affairs of the heart is hard to be justified. I was in a relationship for about 3 years when I met him. We started out as friends, I could never imagine myself falling for him yet I did. I love my boyfriend, don't get me wrong (or rather I thought so). I guess when it happens, it just does. He told me that he didn't want to come between me and my bf but it happened. His action contradicted what he said and he was as confused as I was. When we parted momentarily, I told him I'm gonna miss him but I knew I was gonna see him again. Fate played its cruel hand when he had to leave the country, a day before my birthday. That was also the very same day I realized I truly love this guy. I cried myself to sleep that night.

He just seems like a totally different person when he went back home. He'd still tell me that he does missed me a lot when he was in the country but when he left, he just transformed into a totally different person. It was so unbelievable. In every single e-mails that he sent, there is none that shows the slightest hint that he misses me. I told him I want to see him again and I'm gonna fly over but he just seems to be avoiding that subject. Ell, I just want to see you one more time, I'm not asking you to love me - is that such a hard thing for you to do? I've shed enough tears for him, it's been almost 5 months. I guess it takes two to tango and he most probably doesn't feels that way anymore or he could be lying all along but whatever the reason is, I'm tired...When I fall in love, I fall hard. I know it's gonna take a long time for me to let go but I know I have to. I miss those times when we're together. It hurts me to acknowledge the fact that I do love you because this love was never mine to begin with. I've never felt that way in my entire life but I guess what is left now are memories. These memories will always linger on my mind, just like you will always have a special place in my heart. Forever...