Despite me loving the cold weather, I only manage to fall asleep at 3am worrying about my job prospectives. My rental will be due in about 3 weeks and it just hit me that I've been doing absolutely nothing for the past one month. Okay, so it was a lie. I've just been enjoying myself when I should be trying hard looking for a job because if I don't get one soon, Pa will haul me back to Malaysia. And of course there is the monetary problem. I can't possibly ask money from Pa again. Just before I left home, we had an argument about my career paths. He wants me to stay whilst I told him I'm not ready to leave Aus yet. I've came to love it here despite the fact that I still think it's pretty much a shit hole but that's besides the point. So we compromised and he gave me a six month probation.

So now here I am once again, eating back my own words and feeling helpless. It wasn't because there were no jobs for me but it was because I'm just fucking lazy and picky. I thought of doing waitressing to get some income in the meantime but I shudder thinking about it. But I know I have no choice because as much as people say 'Money isn't everything!' but the truth is, everyone needs money to survive.

And I don't have money right now.

The statement which I've never made in my entire twenty three years of life. All my life I've been spoilt. I don't come from a superbly wealthy family in case some of you were wondering but I'd say I've been a very lucky girl not having have to worry about my basic neccessities. It doesn't help much either when the American Express arrived early this week, a gift from Pa for contigency purposes, in case I get totally skint. I don't have a strong will power to resist it.