I have decided that I'm going to stop seeing S. I just feel that he doesn't actually care for me as much after I told him I am still sort of attached to W. I had tears on my eyes when I told J about this. It wasn't because I don't have feelings for S. In fact, I know I'm falling for him but I just don't think it will ever be the same again. Everything changed from the moment he knew I was attached. I'm not blaming him, I'm just disappointed at myself. Now I have to figure out how can I talk to S without me breaking down like some insane woman in front of him.

I called it off with W as well. And I have no intention of letting S know about this.

At the very end, I'm walking on the road by myself. Alone.