Saturday, April 30, 2005
expect the unexpected
I had the weirdest conversation with S last night.
To cut the long story short, I didn't manage to get across my point and as predicted he missed it entirely. Actually, it was more like his male brain works differently from my female brain. I was so sure I am not going to see him again but when I tried to tell him that, I can't look straight into his eyes because it just hurts me too much to do so. Deep down in my heart I knew I have feelings him and I wanted so much to see him again. I can't lie well although I'm pretty good at covering my ass most of the time.
And him...
He just made me feel vulnerable.
So we were sitting down talking about us for a good 80 minutes. No kidding, I can't believe a guy can argue that much but when he concluded that he won't disturb, call or text me unless I make the first move next time around (he reckons I'm holding the decider card in this case), my heart was screaming, "Damn it, when I say I don't wanna see you again, I don't really mean that" . I feel much better after pouring everything I've always wanted to say to him. I guess I was wrong when I thought he doesn't really care for me. At the end, we agreed to let things fall into pieces.
Well, my heart betrayed my mind. As always.
To cut the long story short, I didn't manage to get across my point and as predicted he missed it entirely. Actually, it was more like his male brain works differently from my female brain. I was so sure I am not going to see him again but when I tried to tell him that, I can't look straight into his eyes because it just hurts me too much to do so. Deep down in my heart I knew I have feelings him and I wanted so much to see him again. I can't lie well although I'm pretty good at covering my ass most of the time.
And him...
He just made me feel vulnerable.
So we were sitting down talking about us for a good 80 minutes. No kidding, I can't believe a guy can argue that much but when he concluded that he won't disturb, call or text me unless I make the first move next time around (he reckons I'm holding the decider card in this case), my heart was screaming, "Damn it, when I say I don't wanna see you again, I don't really mean that" . I feel much better after pouring everything I've always wanted to say to him. I guess I was wrong when I thought he doesn't really care for me. At the end, we agreed to let things fall into pieces.
Well, my heart betrayed my mind. As always.
chica bonita fluttered eyelashes @ 04:21| 3 comments
