A friend's mum has a second relapse, this time a tumour on her thigh after recovering from stomach cancer a couple of months back. My heart fell once I heard the news because I'm still coming to term with Uncle S' (W's dad) battle against kidney cancer. I was absolutely appalled because I could still remember I was so happy to hear that her mum has braced through the chemotherapy and she did actually recovered. I believe that she will pull through this time since she has proven to us that she was able to do it the first time round. I hope my prayers will be answered.

Come to think about it, what I'm going through seems trivial in comparison with what they're facing right now. Quoting N, "It doesn't take a death person to tell you that life is fragile, so make the most out of it". Then I thought, how exactly can someone makes the most out of her or his life? To be more precise, what can I do? How do we judge whether a person is living her or his life to the fullest? I'm feeling so broken, my heart is shattered yet I'm still trying hard to hold it together. It hurts badly and I hope that it will pass eventually. I'm still missing you, Ell. I wish I could just pack my bags and go somewhere else where no one knows me, where there is no worries and start a new life. But I can't be that selfish can I?

Is it normal to have the feelings I'm feeling right now?