Tuesday, February 28, 2006
my secret, your secret
It is 36 degrees outside, how can I not feel hot? I was supposed to meet my girls for lunch at Uni but I just can't bring myself to step out the house under such weather. So here I am, staying in thinking what should I do on a freaking burning hot afternoon.
I checked in PostSecret as usual and the postcard that reads, "I'm afraid to go to the doctor because I'm afraid he will tell me that I have some awful disease and that I'm going to die young" hit me right away.
I used to feel that way when I was much younger. It's weird but I guess I was afraid of dying. Now, I'm feeling alright with the thought of it.
I've been a reader of PostSecret for quite a while now. The website used to have archives before it became popular and I'd enjoyed browsing through them, sharing the emotions that each person has gone through, be it happiness or sadness. Now, the website is only updated once a week and the archives have been removed. Not surprising because the author just published a book titled, of course, PostSecret. As much as I don't like the fact that it is commercialized, I bought the book from Amazon and I'll donate it to my local library as soon as I finish looking through it. You don't actually "read" postcards, do you?
Speaking of secrets, I've been hiding some "upsetting news" from S.
My girls dislike him.
Not just my girls but their boyfriends, one of my dogs, my sisters (although they've not met him), my housemates, almost anyone I know apart from H. But then again, we met through H so that makes H his friend as well. I'll dislike him too if I didn't know him I supposed.
Heck, I don't even know why. Sorry can't answer that question! It's not the fact what people think about S that upset me so much, it's the fact that they pointed out my inner thoughts. I honestly don't know why I'm with this guy. It's probably because the sex is good.
I checked in PostSecret as usual and the postcard that reads, "I'm afraid to go to the doctor because I'm afraid he will tell me that I have some awful disease and that I'm going to die young" hit me right away.
I used to feel that way when I was much younger. It's weird but I guess I was afraid of dying. Now, I'm feeling alright with the thought of it.
I've been a reader of PostSecret for quite a while now. The website used to have archives before it became popular and I'd enjoyed browsing through them, sharing the emotions that each person has gone through, be it happiness or sadness. Now, the website is only updated once a week and the archives have been removed. Not surprising because the author just published a book titled, of course, PostSecret. As much as I don't like the fact that it is commercialized, I bought the book from Amazon and I'll donate it to my local library as soon as I finish looking through it. You don't actually "read" postcards, do you?
Speaking of secrets, I've been hiding some "upsetting news" from S.
My girls dislike him.
Not just my girls but their boyfriends, one of my dogs, my sisters (although they've not met him), my housemates, almost anyone I know apart from H. But then again, we met through H so that makes H his friend as well. I'll dislike him too if I didn't know him I supposed.
Heck, I don't even know why. Sorry can't answer that question! It's not the fact what people think about S that upset me so much, it's the fact that they pointed out my inner thoughts. I honestly don't know why I'm with this guy. It's probably because the sex is good.
chica bonita fluttered eyelashes @ 15:24| 6 comments
Monday, February 20, 2006
if you have three girls
Second mum has three daughters.
Her eldest girl, N, is in her early 20s. If there is anything I noticed about her, it will be her bossiness.
"You do things this way".
"No you're wrong I tell you so you better do it this way".
Oh and she takes advantage of her parents.
So she works nearby from the restaurant. She comes in for free lunch everyday and free coffee every few hours. Not to mention she buys lunch for her colleagues and what not without paying a single cents. She probably sells it to them for discounted price and pockets the money herself.
Now why am I not surprised?
Whenever she took money for the restaurant to buy some stuff for the restaurant, she never return the change.
Supposingly your parents own a restaurant. Would really go in and eat without paying? I mean, come on, they're running a business not a charity home.
Her second girl, S, is in college. She is an angel. Everyone loves her. She is the only one that helps second mum around the house. She keeps her room neat and tidy. And to top it off, she is the best looking one among the three according to a lot of people. I reckon her youngest sis is the one prettier though.
But really, anyone with such a heart would be gorgeous.
C, the youngest girl is the princess of the family. Literally.
She doesn't lift a finger to do anything fearing her nails will chip. She is very rebellious and she is constantly spending money she did not earn and she gets whatever she wants coz second mum couldn't bear seeing her sulking and being unhappy.
Second mum found out not long ago she smokes weed as well. Don't get me wrong, I really do not have anything against people who smokes weed coz my girls do that sometimes. But at the bloody age of 16? I would just like to think this is a passing phase for her.
Or at least I hope so.
Her eldest girl, N, is in her early 20s. If there is anything I noticed about her, it will be her bossiness.
"You do things this way".
"No you're wrong I tell you so you better do it this way".
Oh and she takes advantage of her parents.
So she works nearby from the restaurant. She comes in for free lunch everyday and free coffee every few hours. Not to mention she buys lunch for her colleagues and what not without paying a single cents. She probably sells it to them for discounted price and pockets the money herself.
Now why am I not surprised?
Whenever she took money for the restaurant to buy some stuff for the restaurant, she never return the change.
Supposingly your parents own a restaurant. Would really go in and eat without paying? I mean, come on, they're running a business not a charity home.
Her second girl, S, is in college. She is an angel. Everyone loves her. She is the only one that helps second mum around the house. She keeps her room neat and tidy. And to top it off, she is the best looking one among the three according to a lot of people. I reckon her youngest sis is the one prettier though.
But really, anyone with such a heart would be gorgeous.
C, the youngest girl is the princess of the family. Literally.
She doesn't lift a finger to do anything fearing her nails will chip. She is very rebellious and she is constantly spending money she did not earn and she gets whatever she wants coz second mum couldn't bear seeing her sulking and being unhappy.
Second mum found out not long ago she smokes weed as well. Don't get me wrong, I really do not have anything against people who smokes weed coz my girls do that sometimes. But at the bloody age of 16? I would just like to think this is a passing phase for her.
Or at least I hope so.
chica bonita fluttered eyelashes @ 10:57| 2 comments
Friday, February 17, 2006
i heart myself
I love my new Sergio Rossi pump heels.
*mwah* *mwah* *mwah*
I also found out that W went out for a date on Valentine's Day. Just dinner he said, nothing else. Pfft!
Whatever.
Note: For a limited time only, on special request by ChickyBabe, I present to you my baby. My camera fucked up so I have to look for the picture online instead. Honestly, the picture doesn't do them justice.
*mwah* *mwah* *mwah*
I also found out that W went out for a date on Valentine's Day. Just dinner he said, nothing else. Pfft!
Whatever.
Note: For a limited time only, on special request by ChickyBabe, I present to you my baby. My camera fucked up so I have to look for the picture online instead. Honestly, the picture doesn't do them justice.
chica bonita fluttered eyelashes @ 13:56| 4 comments
Thursday, February 16, 2006
today i'm completely delirious
I've been in a series of mishap since I woke up this morning.
I went down to the city for lunch with my girls and I took out my cigarettes pouch instead of coin purse to pay for the parking. T was like, "Dearie, they don't accept cigarettes as payment. This country doesn't run on barter system."
Then I almost dropped a glass of wine on the floor whilst at lunch.
I text my sis to find out how was her Valentine's and conveniently mentioned what pressies I got from S. Only to find out the sms was sent to S instead of sis. Smart woman I am.
After lunch, we decided to walk around the city since it was a beautiful day. I wanted to have sweet so I opened the new pack and those sweets dropped and scattered all over the floor.
I almost tripped off whilst going up the escalator. I was one inch away from knocking my head on the lamp post coz my eyes were looking elsewhere.
I left my phone at the restaurant but luckily one of my friends noticed.
My skirt flew up because it was windy. On a busy street. And everyone had a good view of my g-string. -_-
I'm just glad I'm safely lying on my bed now and it's almost the end of the day. Phew...
Yesterday was absolutely amazing because Love Potion 31 is finally back in town. Although I was quite pissed off at the Baskin-Robbins girl because she can't bloody pack ice-cream. Never in my entire Baskin-Robbins history I've seen such a badly packed ice-cream. Not to mention she didn't weight it as well. But I'm just too happy to take it further.
S was so proud proclaiming how he's been right all the while, that Love Potion 31 will be back on Valentine's Day but I was half-listening to him. I was enjoying my ice-cream and I just nodded and smiled at him.
And he got me pressies. Which was kind of surprise because I really don't expect anything from him. I mean of course, I love receiving pressies. I'm materialistic. But I just don't expect he would do anything of that sort.
And I mixed up which boyfriends dedicated the love message to me on the newspaper. I thought it was S until I asked him for the fifth times and he kept on saying it wasn't him. I finally believed him. Come to think of it, he is never good with words.
It was W who dedicated the message, of course. How...Err... What's that word again? I really don't know. To me, it's not a big deal. And I don't like having flowers as pressie. Not that I'm choosy but flowers are just flowers. How unmaterialistic.
Moi: I'm so sorry darling, I didn't get you anything
S: That's alright. Valentine's Day is meant to be for girls
How sweet.
That doesn't mean I'm heartless. Well, I loaned money to one of my girls just so that she could get her designer heels. She was smiling the whole afternoon.
I'll probably get their pressies later. Or maybe not because Valentine's Day is just well, flowers?
I have to share this wonderful news with everyone. Second mum is alright after the operation. She's been eating well too. I haven't got a chance to visit her yet but we did had a good talk over the phone. The breast cancer wasn't "cancerous" if I make any sense. Hurrah!
I went down to the city for lunch with my girls and I took out my cigarettes pouch instead of coin purse to pay for the parking. T was like, "Dearie, they don't accept cigarettes as payment. This country doesn't run on barter system."
Then I almost dropped a glass of wine on the floor whilst at lunch.
I text my sis to find out how was her Valentine's and conveniently mentioned what pressies I got from S. Only to find out the sms was sent to S instead of sis. Smart woman I am.
After lunch, we decided to walk around the city since it was a beautiful day. I wanted to have sweet so I opened the new pack and those sweets dropped and scattered all over the floor.
I almost tripped off whilst going up the escalator. I was one inch away from knocking my head on the lamp post coz my eyes were looking elsewhere.
I left my phone at the restaurant but luckily one of my friends noticed.
My skirt flew up because it was windy. On a busy street. And everyone had a good view of my g-string. -_-
I'm just glad I'm safely lying on my bed now and it's almost the end of the day. Phew...
Yesterday was absolutely amazing because Love Potion 31 is finally back in town. Although I was quite pissed off at the Baskin-Robbins girl because she can't bloody pack ice-cream. Never in my entire Baskin-Robbins history I've seen such a badly packed ice-cream. Not to mention she didn't weight it as well. But I'm just too happy to take it further.
S was so proud proclaiming how he's been right all the while, that Love Potion 31 will be back on Valentine's Day but I was half-listening to him. I was enjoying my ice-cream and I just nodded and smiled at him.
And he got me pressies. Which was kind of surprise because I really don't expect anything from him. I mean of course, I love receiving pressies. I'm materialistic. But I just don't expect he would do anything of that sort.
And I mixed up which boyfriends dedicated the love message to me on the newspaper. I thought it was S until I asked him for the fifth times and he kept on saying it wasn't him. I finally believed him. Come to think of it, he is never good with words.
It was W who dedicated the message, of course. How...Err... What's that word again? I really don't know. To me, it's not a big deal. And I don't like having flowers as pressie. Not that I'm choosy but flowers are just flowers. How unmaterialistic.
Moi: I'm so sorry darling, I didn't get you anything
S: That's alright. Valentine's Day is meant to be for girls
How sweet.
That doesn't mean I'm heartless. Well, I loaned money to one of my girls just so that she could get her designer heels. She was smiling the whole afternoon.
I'll probably get their pressies later. Or maybe not because Valentine's Day is just well, flowers?
I have to share this wonderful news with everyone. Second mum is alright after the operation. She's been eating well too. I haven't got a chance to visit her yet but we did had a good talk over the phone. The breast cancer wasn't "cancerous" if I make any sense. Hurrah!
chica bonita fluttered eyelashes @ 00:15| 2 comments
Thursday, February 09, 2006
today i learn to love myself
I had an argument with S a few nights ago. It was over the same old thing.
He is not spending enough time with me.
Everytime I have a fight with any of my loved ones, I'll go into the zombie state where I'd refuse to eat. Not refuse, it's more like I lose appetite to eat. I'd cry and make myself depressed.
I really don't know I'm doing this for sympathy but probably because in the past, this always worked out for me to get things my own way. W would always give in and he'd apologize even though it wasn't his fault at times. But with S, he would just leave me alone and let me sulk all I want.
So I woke up this morning and I realized if I don't start treating myself well, no one will. I don't mean not that others don't care or love me but if I bring harm to myself, it's wouldn't benefit me would it?
I really don't see the point of tormenting myself although I'm generally a dark person. All my girls are like that to a certain extent. I think it was because we find it comfortable living pessimistically.
As for S, I really don't want to think about it now. There is no point talking to him because he just wouldn't listen although he reckoned it was the other way round. I told him I would rather not see him anymore if I can't see him whenever I want.
He is not spending enough time with me.
Everytime I have a fight with any of my loved ones, I'll go into the zombie state where I'd refuse to eat. Not refuse, it's more like I lose appetite to eat. I'd cry and make myself depressed.
I really don't know I'm doing this for sympathy but probably because in the past, this always worked out for me to get things my own way. W would always give in and he'd apologize even though it wasn't his fault at times. But with S, he would just leave me alone and let me sulk all I want.
So I woke up this morning and I realized if I don't start treating myself well, no one will. I don't mean not that others don't care or love me but if I bring harm to myself, it's wouldn't benefit me would it?
I really don't see the point of tormenting myself although I'm generally a dark person. All my girls are like that to a certain extent. I think it was because we find it comfortable living pessimistically.
As for S, I really don't want to think about it now. There is no point talking to him because he just wouldn't listen although he reckoned it was the other way round. I told him I would rather not see him anymore if I can't see him whenever I want.
chica bonita fluttered eyelashes @ 15:56| 4 comments
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
the current affair
Life has been alright to me for the past week. Apart from the fact that I found out my lady boss has breast cancer. She is like my second mum and I could only pray that it's nothing too serious. She would have to go for an operation this Thursday. It was shocking but I've been trying not to think about it too much.
Last Sunday was well spent. I was out at the city just to relax. It seemed incredibly quiet as people were flocking to the BDO somewhere away from the city. That could only mean one thing, a definite good day to shop!
I went to Kookai. I ran out of ideas what to get so I just bought a top and a belt for a friend's belated birthday. I doubt I'm actually gonna wear the top come to think about it. I've always loved their skirts though. Okay, not all the time but close to that.
The skirts from the new collection seem alright but I prefer the previous collection which of course, nothing much left and those that were there are heavily discounted. If there is one thing that I hate, it would be shopping in Kookai during sale because some of the stuff that I bought not long ago were now discounted up to 75%. Ugh...
I've been to MNG a lot. I always manage to find tops that would be able to match my skirts and pants here. MNG stuff are way much cheaper (half the price) back home but the feeling is different whenever I tried to shop there. The crowd is ridiculous because everyone can afford it and I can't find my size because girls are generally "smaller" back home.
I'm not getting S anything for Valentine's coz I think there isn't any need for it really. I just don't have the mood to shop for people these days. Not even myself. Weird! It is probably because my girls are not back yet, hence the kick is not there.
I'm still missing home a lot. I don't know when will I get over this but I really do hope it will be soon. I was so tempted to buy myself an air tix and fly back just for a few days but I doubt it's really gonna change anything. It would still be the same when I come back here.
I'm a sucker of Baskin-Robbins and it's no longer a secret given the right time, which is all the time, I can down a medium size tub in an hour.
On top of the list of my favourite flavours, it would be Love Potion 31. It's vanilla raspberry ice-cream and it's suppose to come back in store for Valentine's Day. I've been harassing Baskin-Robbins everyday asking whether the stock is in yet. I wasn't the only one. Apparently a lot of people have been asking for it.
So dear Baskin-Robbins headquarter in Sydney, LISTEN TO YOUR CUSTOMERS.
I'm beginning to lose my patience and I think it's a ridiculously stupid marketing idea to not give the customers what they want when they're demanding it. I, for one is someone who has short attention span. I usually just let go.
This waiting game is frustrating.
And I hope second mum will be fine. God, please give her the strength to go through this.
Last Sunday was well spent. I was out at the city just to relax. It seemed incredibly quiet as people were flocking to the BDO somewhere away from the city. That could only mean one thing, a definite good day to shop!
I went to Kookai. I ran out of ideas what to get so I just bought a top and a belt for a friend's belated birthday. I doubt I'm actually gonna wear the top come to think about it. I've always loved their skirts though. Okay, not all the time but close to that.
The skirts from the new collection seem alright but I prefer the previous collection which of course, nothing much left and those that were there are heavily discounted. If there is one thing that I hate, it would be shopping in Kookai during sale because some of the stuff that I bought not long ago were now discounted up to 75%. Ugh...
I've been to MNG a lot. I always manage to find tops that would be able to match my skirts and pants here. MNG stuff are way much cheaper (half the price) back home but the feeling is different whenever I tried to shop there. The crowd is ridiculous because everyone can afford it and I can't find my size because girls are generally "smaller" back home.
I'm not getting S anything for Valentine's coz I think there isn't any need for it really. I just don't have the mood to shop for people these days. Not even myself. Weird! It is probably because my girls are not back yet, hence the kick is not there.
I'm still missing home a lot. I don't know when will I get over this but I really do hope it will be soon. I was so tempted to buy myself an air tix and fly back just for a few days but I doubt it's really gonna change anything. It would still be the same when I come back here.
I'm a sucker of Baskin-Robbins and it's no longer a secret given the right time, which is all the time, I can down a medium size tub in an hour.
On top of the list of my favourite flavours, it would be Love Potion 31. It's vanilla raspberry ice-cream and it's suppose to come back in store for Valentine's Day. I've been harassing Baskin-Robbins everyday asking whether the stock is in yet. I wasn't the only one. Apparently a lot of people have been asking for it.
So dear Baskin-Robbins headquarter in Sydney, LISTEN TO YOUR CUSTOMERS.
I'm beginning to lose my patience and I think it's a ridiculously stupid marketing idea to not give the customers what they want when they're demanding it. I, for one is someone who has short attention span. I usually just let go.
This waiting game is frustrating.
And I hope second mum will be fine. God, please give her the strength to go through this.
chica bonita fluttered eyelashes @ 17:05| 6 comments
Friday, February 03, 2006
today i feel discriminated
Discrimination is such a strong word that I almost never use it in any context. It just hit me out of sudden that it has been happening to me.
To start off with, when I came in to work this morning, my boss asked me to clean the bloody fridge. I do mean, literally bloody. From the red meat he puts in freezer. The freezer is not working well.
Now, in my office there are 4 admin staff including myself. I just realized that he always asked me and this other girl, D to do all the "dirty" work like washing his dishes, etc. And co-incidentally, both of us are Asians. The other two girls never touched a single cup. No, I'm not being sensitive but like i said it just hit me today after 4 months so I'm not definitely thinking too much. My boss threw away the red meat yesterday and one of the other girls were here at work.
Why can't he just fucking ask her to do it?
Among other things, I get some people (strangers, friend's friend's sister's, strangers, etc) who looks at me weirdly or make crude remark becuase I look a little fat (because Asians are generally small size so you gotta be at least size 6 to be considered thin. Size 00 is favourable). I get THAT all the time from relatives. One thing I'm glad I wasn't back home for Lunar New Year. In contrary, over here I get some people who looks at me crudely because I look thin. And there were people who made remark that I have big boobs for a "thin" person.
I love the way I look and I'm glad I have "big" boobs and extra fats. Thank you for your concern. Bless your daughters. :-)
I think I need retail therapy to distress, It's late night shopping tonight.
To start off with, when I came in to work this morning, my boss asked me to clean the bloody fridge. I do mean, literally bloody. From the red meat he puts in freezer. The freezer is not working well.
Now, in my office there are 4 admin staff including myself. I just realized that he always asked me and this other girl, D to do all the "dirty" work like washing his dishes, etc. And co-incidentally, both of us are Asians. The other two girls never touched a single cup. No, I'm not being sensitive but like i said it just hit me today after 4 months so I'm not definitely thinking too much. My boss threw away the red meat yesterday and one of the other girls were here at work.
Why can't he just fucking ask her to do it?
Among other things, I get some people (strangers, friend's friend's sister's, strangers, etc) who looks at me weirdly or make crude remark becuase I look a little fat (because Asians are generally small size so you gotta be at least size 6 to be considered thin. Size 00 is favourable). I get THAT all the time from relatives. One thing I'm glad I wasn't back home for Lunar New Year. In contrary, over here I get some people who looks at me crudely because I look thin. And there were people who made remark that I have big boobs for a "thin" person.
I love the way I look and I'm glad I have "big" boobs and extra fats. Thank you for your concern. Bless your daughters. :-)
I think I need retail therapy to distress, It's late night shopping tonight.
chica bonita fluttered eyelashes @ 13:07| 4 comments