Tuesday, August 23, 2005
crossroads
B: So when W is here for a visit, S will be going away for a little 'holiday'?
Me: *sigh*
Conversation 2
Me: Yay!! My birthday is coming up. And the European guy's birthday is just a few days before mine so we're gonna have a big party!
S: I don't think I can come then
Me: Why not, sweetie?
S: You know, he will be here. But anyway, **the decision is yours.
Me: *sigh*
**The decision here denotes who do I choose to be with. Time is running out.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
a letter to papa
All these years that I've been away from home, away from you, makes me realized that I do indeed miss you.
Since I was a baby girl, you taught me to be strong and wise, never be afraid to admit my own mistakes and more importantly, never give up easily no matter how many times I fall.
After finding out that you had someone else in your life, I was broken and disappointed. Don't me and sisters meant anything to you at all? What about Ma? I was upset at the fact that you cheated on us.
Nevertheless, the time I spent away from home makes me acknowledged that no matter how much I disliked you from then on, no matter how upset or angry I was at you, deep down within my heart, I've always loved you...I still do.
You have loved me unconditionally, you've been supporting me all these while. You let me make my own decisions on my future. You never yell at me when I over-swiped the card.
Maybe I can never comprehend what you've done but I think I'll regret if I do not learn to forgive and let go of this bitterness in me as I only have one dad. The love and care that you shower us with, they are real aren't they?
Papa, if only I have the courage to tell you these 3 little words before it's too late. I just want you to know that I love you....
Friday, August 19, 2005
today i'm a housewife - part three
Now I'm doing grocery shopping for S as well. Don't get me wrong, I do actually enjoy it.
It is a headache because he eats relatively healthy stuff like salad, fruits, yoghurt and what not. The only salad I take is the one I make my own. I hate vegetables with passion apart from broccoli, cabbage, carrot and cauliflower. The only yoghurt I take is the new watermelon flavoured ones. And those chocolate flavoured ones as well. Wait. Those aren't exactly yoghurt.
He reckons I don't eat proper meals. This is coming from someone who smokes twice the amount of cigarettes than I do and drinks every weekend.
So everytime I do grocery shopping for him, I have to buy something that contains chocolate in it. I know it wasn't for me but my mind keeps on nudging me with the fact that a little bit of chocolates is healthy for him. A lot of people say chocolates make people gain weight although me personally think otherwise. I eat chocolate almost everyday and my body is still the same way it was 7 years ago. But if what they said is true, then bingo! S is too skinny anyway.
Nevertheless, at the end of the day, he still gets his favourite juice, cereals, snacks and fruits. Isn't he a lucky guy?
Thursday, August 18, 2005
he ain't kidding
Me: Do you want some rollies? It belongs to the European guy
S: It's alright, I've got my own cigarettes
Me: What about some weed? (Of course I jokingly asked him that. Those weed doesn't even belong to me in the first place.)
S: What did you say? Did I hear correctly? Weed?
Me: *pointing at the pack of weed on the table* Yep, it belongs to the European guy as well
S: What's the druggie doing, living with you under the same roof?
Me: I don't take weed, sweetie. Don't call him a druggie just so because he smokes them!!!
S: Good girl, I've tried that a couple of times but that was long time ago and it's not good for you so don't even think about it
Me: Well, my closest friends smoke weed occassionally. T does. M as well. As for myself, I'm just never interested in it
S: *glaring at innocent chica* Are you thinking of trying it?
Me: Nope
S: Good, keep it that way. Remember, don't get near that stuff
Whether S was being over-protective or caring I really don't know. All I know is I've never seen the other side of him before. That, makes me feel loved.
But then again, he doesn't call me pumpkin, baby, honey or any other pet names couples call each other. This, makes me feel unloved.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
new place new beginning
However, there are just so many things to unpack, my current bedroom is much smaller and I have problems deciding what to put in my room as I can't possibly fit all my stuff in like previously. It is a hassle to move house. It's a bigger hassle to pack and then unpack again.
My girlfriend, Y and his boyfriend, B dislike the 21 year-old dude. Let's name him 21. Y & B reckon 21 has not been washing his clothes for the past 4 weeks and probably showers once every 3 days. B also can't stand the fact that 21 brags about his work and studies which all of them suspect, are non-existance.
Me and the European guy on the other hand were not really bothered by 21. Whenever he talks, we just listen without agreeing or disagreeing. It doesn't bother me all that much because unlike the idiotic ex-housemate of mine, he is not rude and he doesn't make crude remarks about people. He is definitely not arrogant for sure.
The European guy will be cooking dinner for us this weekend. He made yummylicious Goulash the other day and I finished everything off. I can't wait to see (and taste) what's he gonna cook next.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
was it something he didn't say
I love you.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
absolut disappointment
S: Why not? Why bother getting it fixed when you're not gonna wear it?
Me: Excuse moi? You offered to get it fixed for me. That was about five weeks ago. Spring will be here in two weeks. So my boots has been sitting in your room for the past four weeks and six days doing nothing
S: I just forgot about it!
Me: Whatever
I really don't understand him sometimes. I've told him a lot of time that it's perfectly alright for me to do it myself since he's busy with studies and work but he insisted that he'd do it for me. He just forgets about it until I 'threatened' him by saying "If I can't get my boots back by Friday, just forget about it. I don't want it anymore. You do whatever you want with it. I give up."
He slipped down and pulled his leg's muscle when he was out with his mates earlier. It hurts him when he moves around too much. He was even having difficulty sitting down. Of course my heart aches when I see him in that condition.
Me: Well, you should consult your sis, she is a physiotherapist isn't she?
S: She asked me to go to the doctor
Me: Go see doctor tomorrow then, sweetie
S: What a doctor can do? He would just ask me to go for an X-ray and I don't have time for that
Me: But if it hurts, there is obviously something wrong with it. I don't think you can help me to move my stuff tomorrow
S: Yeah, I don't think I'd be able to help you move
Me: It's okay, I'll figure out. I'll get someone else to help me
S: I hate to say no after I've promised you but obviously I can't since I am injured. Also, you told me that you do not need my help earlier and I've made other plans
Me: I understand, look at you...You can't even walk properly
I was a bit confused with the other plans part. I hope he didn't mean what I think it is.
Me: So, what are your plans for tomorrow?
I was hoping that he will say something like, "I'm gonna see doctor and take a rest" but instead...
S: Since tomorrow is my only day off, I'm gonna get a hair-cut...
I was baffled. Shouldn't he be resting at home? Never mind, give him the benefit of doubt.
S: I'm going over to my parents' in the morning...
What? You can still drive in that condition?
S: It is A's birthday tomorrow so I'm gonna go over to his place in the arvo, we're gonna drink and play cards
Me: Oh... Have fun then
I turned away from him.
S: Are you going to sleep now?
Me: Yes
He kissed me on my lips and I refused to react. I just stared at him. He planted a kiss on my forehead before leaving.
I'm absolutely disappointed with him.
I'm extremely upset.
If the pain is really that bad, shouldn't he be resting at home instead? I could almost imagine how he had all this planned out in the first place.
Silly me.
Maybe I should give up on him too...
Friday, August 12, 2005
achtung...beware
I've been avoiding that fuc...Never mind. It's not worth it to get upset over such people.
Patience pays off. Patience, my dear...
Two more days and I'm out of this place. I know I'm going to miss my brother and the rest of my housemates but I really can't wait to get away.
Thanks to everyone for your comforting words. That, really meant a lot to me.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
unhappy i am
I started having problems with him (and his ever so God-ly opinions on life, people and cultures in general) after I moved in for a month or so.
I really don't know what the idiot's problem is.
He thinks that he's good looking.
He is not even close to being average.
He thinks that he is smart just so because he is studying Engineering. He reckons not just anyone can study Engineering, whereas everyone can do a business degree.
He flunked his paper and I am secretly rejoicing. Not so smart after all eh?
He thinks he has elegant taste in fashion.
Yes, the $150 Armani Exchange snake skin print shirt will go out of fashion in no time. That, is far from elegant. And no, French Connection does not specialized in designing elegant wear. You're shopping at the wrong place all together. More importantly, elegance is how you portray yourself.
He thinks I shouldn't wear make-up because I looked 'over-dressed'.
When everyone else commended I look good and you're the only one saying I've over-done it, I suggest you get your eyes check. And who are you to judge me in the first place? You are NOT my friend to begin with.
He made a comment that I should do some exercise. His exact words were, "If me, I wouldn't hire (in reference to my job hunting) a girl that is not fit. Look at you..."
Excuse me, I love the way I am. I really pity the girl who would someday become your girlfriend. Once again, you have NO right to judge me. Yes, you fucking retard! Maybe that's why you do not have a girlfriend at all.
I'm too tired to even start writing about his disgrunted opinions on people from other cultures.
To sum it up, my main reason of moving out is because he tried to grab and kiss me once. Of course, I managed to free myself from him. Although he apologized and promised that he would never do it again, I don't trust him. I never trusted him in the first place. Fucking pervert!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
today i'm a housewife - part two
Okay, let me re-iterate. Cooking isn't so bad. The cleaning part is!
For the past few days, I've been in the kitchen, be it cooking some stuff, baking cakes or making sushi.
W comes from a very traditional Chinese family. His mum reckons that all girls should know how to cook and clean. That's her interpretation of a good wife. To me, great sex, lots of compromise and respect is what a good wife makes. When I first came to Aus, I lived with them for a period of time. There was once she showed me how to clean a whole chicken and I went...
Me: *pointing at the chicken* Eww... This is horrendous
Not-my-mum: Yeah, you would have to learn how to do this. Otherwise, how can you cook?
Me: Huh? I'd just get myself a husband who knows how to cook. And clean of course!
Not-my-mum: WHAT? Please, no guys will actually do this kind of work. They never go into the kitchen
I was thinking to myself, let's not compare us to people from different culture but where I came from, there are guys in my family that cooks. My late Uncle L is an excellent cook. So does a few others. Of course I didn't tell W mummy dearest that. We really just don't get along. I mean, excuse me? My mum doesn't even do this to me!
Okay, I better get back to my cooking. Am slicing the chicken breast half-way. Why would people make their life difficult just so because it's cheaper to buy a whole chicken?
Monday, August 08, 2005
today i'm a housewife
S: I think you need to give your floor a clean
Me: *rolls eyes* I don't have to do this kind of things back home. I guess I would have to now
I looked up at S mischeviously and flashed him the most innocent face of mine.
Me: So sweetie, will you help me clean the floor tomorrow?
S: Well...I would if I'm here when you're cleaning it but I won't be here tomorrow so I can't
So my innocent face didn't work on him. He can be really smart in getting away from stuff he doesn't want to do.
I did clean the floor this arvo. All by myself. And I'm extremely proud of it. I text S saying, "Damn, I feel so housewife now!"
Sunday, August 07, 2005
what she says...
Me: Hmm?
M: And I would rather to have you be with W than S, I think
Wouldn't it be nice to have all three of them?
*sigh*
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
three guys and a girl
Me: So have you rented out the rooms in your place yet?
Girlfriend: Yep to two guys. It is just amazing how fast you can get people through advertising.
Her family has got a new place so they're renting out the old one as her boyfriend, B is the only one staying there right now.
Me: So at least there are people in the house to keep B company. *evil laughter* And who are these dudes? Are they cute?
Girlfriend: Oh, the European guy is but he has a girlfriend. The other dude is too young for you sweetie. He is 21. He's a little immature. You know, guys that age...
I instantly lit up.
Me: I think I'll drop B a visit soon. You know to catch up and stuff
Girlfriend knowing what my real intention was, broke down laughing.
Me: Like really, he's just got a girlfriend, not like he's married. As for the other dude, who says a 21-year-old guy is too young for me? I'm still young. Young at heart (Okay, so I lied. I feel really old sometimes)
Girlfriend: Yeah, whatever you say. HAHAHA
Fast forward one month later and here I am, moving in with them. It was also due to the never-ending problems I have with my current place.
I can have a real good perve (quoting ChickyBabe ) now.
Of course I don't plan to snatch anyone boyfriend or dating a guy that young but it's a really good change of environment. Who wouldn't wanna live with three hot looking guys?
I can't bear the thought of packing and unpacking my junks again but I'll worry about that later.